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School Teacher sex with 14 year old boy Why is it different with older women and young men?

#1 User is offline   Marc 

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Posted 22 March 2006 - 11:57 PM

Is it the same thing when a hot female teacher has sex with a 14 year old boy as if a hot older male teacher having sex with a 14 year old girl.

The answer is NO - there is a difference. It's not the same. I can tell you for sure that if I was 14 years old again and it happened to me I'd be every bit as happy as the kid was. If only I had the opportunity to be abused that way.

So - the question is - why? What's the difference? Of course you can also disagree with me that there is a difference. Who has some thoughts on this?
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#2 User is offline   Castlevania 

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Posted 23 March 2006 - 12:08 AM

Humans become sexually mature upon puberty, which is before 14.

Society says that humans are not sexually mature before 18.

Nature say it is ok to have sex as a 14 year old, be it with another 14 year old or 28 year old.

Society say it isn't ok to have sex at all until your an adult.

One could argue that the 14 year old is not 'psychogical mature' enough to handle sex.

http://www.petertatchell.net/age%20of%20co...t%20at%2016.htm

http://www.sciencedaily.com/releases/2005/...51201022811.htm



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#3 User is offline   Marc 

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Posted 23 March 2006 - 12:19 AM

My point is that a male teacher having sex with a 14 yeal old girl seems like rape from the girls perspective. But a female teacher having sex with a 14 year old boy sounds like dying nd going to heaven from a 14 year old boy's perspective.

Let's pretend for a moment I'm not sexist. Why is there a difference.
Posted Image

Oh - what a babe!
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#4

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Posted 23 March 2006 - 01:51 AM

View Postfirstone, on Mar 22 2006, 07:19 PM, said:

My point is that a male teacher having sex with a 14 yeal old girl seems like rape from the girls perspective. But a female teacher having sex with a 14 year old boy sounds like dying nd going to heaven from a 14 year old boy's perspective.

Let's pretend for a moment I'm not sexist. Why is there a difference.

[...]

Oh - what a babe!


Agreed! :D

It all depends on the situation. Let's say they had consensual sex regardless if it was adult male/minor female vs. adult female/minor male. I think in this case it is morally ok. Now let's factor in the teacher part. Teachers are held at a higher ethical standard, so I think this would be morally wrong. Now let's factor "love" into all this...hmm that becomes an ethical dilemma and would require a case by case analysis. Mary Kay LeTourneau case was a little different. She served jail time and eventually married her young lover. I have more mixed feelings about her, but I think she was judged too harshly by the justice system.

BTW I posted an earlier thread about this: Hot for Teacher investigative files - statutory rape

skinny
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#5 User is offline   Marc 

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Posted 23 March 2006 - 02:05 AM

I'm not sure I'm getting my point across. On a gut level it feel like older women with younger men feels right and older men with younger women feels wrong. As someone who was a 14 year old boy I would have loved to have been "sexually abused" by this woman. So - am I delusional, or is there a difference. If so - why?

I think there's a difference. Men and Women not equal. But - I can't explain it.
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#6 User is offline   Fran 

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Posted 10 July 2009 - 10:25 AM

It could be that women and men sometimes experience puberty at a different age... though, we are always taught that girls experience puberty earlier than boys.

Also, young girls(as well as my experience) are constantly being warned about pedophiles, while boys are less often being warned, because it's believed that girls are more often victims than boys. So, that sort of leans people to believe the whole "protect the weak little girls", but also gives young girls the stereotype of being very weak and vulnerable.
It can also be thought that boys will more often keep their experiences secret, while girls will most often seek help, therefore possibly proving census wrong.

I can't say though, because I am not an expert or anything.
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#7 User is offline   Ocelot 

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Posted 10 July 2009 - 01:25 PM

The result of heterosexual sex is often preganacy. No contraception is 100% effective so pregancy is always a risk. now if a garil carries the majority of the burden of that risk and the man can just cut and run then there is a difference.

The older party is supposed to be the responsible one. Children are not yet deemed to be legally responsible before the age of majority.

There's a big difference between a teenage girl bearing the consequences of a decisison for which an adult male should have been responsble and and adult woman bearing the child of a teenage boy.

In the real world though these aren't absolute outcomes but risks and the risks can be mitigated. Children are totally irresponsible and unaccountable for their own actions. These blacks and white ebcome shades of grey but nonetheless that underlying difference still exists and influences our thinking on the matter.

There's also tha matter of presumed consent with a man. It's said that if a man isn't willing the sex is impossible. Erection implies willing. In truth the body reacts to stimuli that the mind might reject yet again it's something that influences our thinking.

If a man is havign sex witha teenage girl she's too young for us to say whether she consented or not.

If a woman is having sex with a teenage box we know that his body at least consented or the act would be impossible. And lets face it. We're all the same, men or boys just don't turn it down when it's offered up on a plate - or at least that's the stereotype.
Good buy and gobble less.

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A myth is a fixed way of looking at the world which cannot be destroyed because, looked at through the myth, all evidence supports the myth.
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#8 User is offline   kril000 

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Posted 06 November 2009 - 08:21 PM

View Postfirstone, on Mar 22 2006, 09:05 PM, said:

I'm not sure I'm getting my point across. On a gut level it feel like older women with younger men feels right and older men with younger women feels wrong. As someone who was a 14 year old boy I would have loved to have been "sexually abused" by this woman. So - am I delusional, or is there a difference. If so - why?

I think there's a difference. Men and Women not equal. But - I can't explain it.



I surely hope you read this. I have an understanding I'd like to share, at least from a womans point of view. Women are far more dependent on their physcial relationship then men are physcologically. For a girl of 14, she hasn't associated sex as something that can be playful or carefree. She sees it as something far more intimate, then lets say for example a boy would. Masturbation is necissary for him as well as something that feels good so he will associate sex with masturbation in it's fun and freedom. Girls however, pay attention to masturbation/sex in far more detail since there is no necessity. This in turn leaves the act more sacred to younger girls.

In the scheme of things, men who learn to control their sex drive would be a better match for women rather then crazed adolecent "sexual rabbits" seeing as over the years they would have obtained dicsipline. Younger women would also fair since the sex could potentially be better also. (His ability to learn in paying attention to detail.) Attention would also be given towards the younger women by the older man too since interest would lie in the physical aspect in his interest.

However if you take the side of older women being better with younger men I must say...Flip it around and your looking at the struggle of seeking a mate that tells you what to do.

I'll stop it here and see if you'll respond, I beleive we can have an interesting coversation.

thanks,

K.
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#9 User is offline   Tyciol 

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Posted 01 February 2010 - 08:58 PM

I can't help but to perceive the sexism here. I can relate to you Marc: I would have been happy to hook up with a hot teacher when I was 14 too.

But we're stereotyping here: who are we to speak on the behalf of women to say that they would perceive it as rape when they're 14? I understand this instinctive feeling but I think we're being arrogant and misogynistic.

Certainly there are girls who feel this way, and retrospectively, women who say they would have felt (or did feel) that way, or whom, even if they did not at the time, thought it was for the greater good in the long run.

But even in this situation: just like we don't speak for all males, a female doesn't speak for all females either. I'm sure there's plentiful boys who, no matter how hot a teacher is, might want to focus on other priorities like academia or sports and would feel emasculated and controlled if a teacher abused her power over him to have sex.

Of course, that's just the negative stereotype: abuses of power like this DO exist, but we shouldn't assume all situations are like that.

I think it's inappropriate for teachers (or coworkers) to have relations in case it potentially distracts from their vocation. But that should be a professional thing affecting hirability, not something that the government itself punishes. In this case, if we're talking about government-funded public education then obviously they do get involved because the people who would regulate it are government workers, but that should still be a career thing and not a criminal charges thing.

I understand it's necessary to put our foot down to avoid the exploitation of the immature and the ill-informed, because the vulnerable do get abused. That said, aging alone does not prepare people to deal with these situations. The whole aspect of 'maturity' which is relevant here is the informedness people have to deal with potential problems and make decisions in their best interest.

A lot of people will prattle on about 'brain size', usually related to the growth of the hypothalmus or something, but that's always bothered me because for all I hear of how it helps with impulse control, there seem to be a lot of impulsive adults out there, just as I see many small-brained children not acting out in the ridiculous ways many of the big-brained do.

The whole concept of 'size equals function' I figured was disproven by how Einstein had an average-sized brain, but people still think in this simplistic way. By focusing on this region, we ignore the actual memes that compose a personality, and the effectiveness of habits and teaching and tradition and plasticity.
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